Studies show that the mental and physical engagement of those with various levels of dementia is essential to lessen decline.  Isolation is a terrible thing for someone with dementia in so many ways.  The key is to find an activity that stimulates engagement in each individual. The sooner, the better! I always recall several stories from a course I took entitled, “Dementia Dialogues” in Charleston taught by staff of the University of South Carolina for professional and family caregivers. [A 5-part series starts soon.  Call me for details 843-852-9090.] Taking the class enlightened me that taking just a few extra steps to know persons with dementia, their family and work history, their hobbies and travels might give clues to how to give them purpose in their daily living.

The first story is that a very patient receptionist in a memory care unit was being interrupted and antagonized by a gentleman resident throughout the workday.  He came and stood in front of her and mumbled a phrase for long periods, and would not be dissuaded by her appeals.  With a little detective work, she learned that he had worked as a delivery person for his entire adult life.  She gave him a clipboard filled with paper with numbered lines and a few empty, sealed packages.  Each time he came to the desk, she signed his clipboard, and he went on his way seemingly satisfied that he’d accomplished his task.  The mumbling? The receptionist decided that he had been asking for her signature all along.

The other poignant story that touched me is one about an elderly woman and her doll.  She had five adult children and she had always loved infants, so her daughter kindly purchased a life-like doll for her.  She also purchased inexpensive bundles of wash clothes to double as “diapers for the baby”.  The lady’s caregiver brought her a laundry basket filled with the cloths every morning. The lady neatly folded each one and placed them back in the basket.  This exercise was repeated throughout the day.  The lady was content because her hands were doing productive work.  She and her baby doll were inseparable and the staff commented sweetly about her baby consistently.  It is a minor thing to those of us with our faculties, but it was her LIFE that was enriched by a simple ritual of feeling purposeful.

When a family member with dementia has no alternative except to live in a facility with a memory unit, it is important to ask about and insist upon activities everyday to engage them.  One very concerned daughter asked, “Where is the LIFE in the memory care unit?”  She reported, “I visited a memory care unit today in an affluent facility in my hometown. The setting and physical environment was wonderful, but the schedule posted for the day only included 3 meals and a piano listening time. Nothing else. Another resident’s family member confirmed that there were no other activities ever offered for the unit. No puzzles, no handcrafting, no dancing, no staff socially interacting with small groups.  The assisted living area offered any number of activities each day, but residents of the memory care unit could not attend their activities unless a family member accompanied them.”

So, when you are visiting possible memory units for your loved one (or choosing in-home caregivers), be sure to ask “Where’s the LIFE? What will you do to care for my mom and dad?”

Sherly 843-852-9090