"Care For Life had taken wonderful care of my mother before she died. When we decided to move my dad in with us, we remembered the great relationship with Care For Life and the good caregivers, and the receptionist Delores' caring responses on the phone. The decision to choose Care For Life to help with dad's needs is an easy one to make."
IT’S MONDAY , THE WEEKEND IS OVER AND I AM BACK TO WORK. BOY WERE THOSE TWO DAYS QUICK. NOW THE NEXT FIVE DAYS WILL CONSIST OF MOM”S MEDS, DR.APPOINTMENTS ALSO MAKING SURE SHE HAS QUALITY MEALS ALL WHILE WORKING FIVE DAYS A WEEK.SINCE I AM THE ONOLY SIBLING LIVING IN TOWN WHAT IS A PERSON TO DO???
I recently heard of an elderly lady whose private caregiver was taking her to the bank and getting checks cashed with the unscrupulous caregiver pocketed. How can I make sure that doesn’t happen to my elderly mother?
It is a great risk to hire caregivers or sitters who are not with an agency who screens their backgrounds, throughly trains them and monitors the care they are giving to vulnerable elderly persons. Care For Life is a geriatric care management company with nursing professionals who assess and monitor each case. The caregivers are trained, bonded and insured to protect the aged person in their care. Call 852-9090 for more info. Gina,
There needs to be a campaign to the legislators in SC to put into place laws that would demand licensure of non-medical homecare agencies by the state. There are far too many vulnerable adults being exploited, abused and neglected by unscrupulous persons going into the homes of the elderly and taking advantage of them.
What do you think of this idea? Dee
My friends mother is 85 years old, she forgets a lot. My friend thinks it is old age, I think it’s the beginning stages of dementia or alzheimers. I saw a program on HBO about alzheimers. The irratic behavior that her mother has sometimes makes me wonder. I asked her to schedule a doctor’s appt., for her mother but she refuses. What would be the next approach I should use, I don’t want her think I want to get in her family’s business, I just care about the family. What do you think I should do?
Is there anyone who can help an elderly person with no family and just a small income? I would like to help this woman from my church, but I don’t have any extra income and she desperately needs help. Are there any agencies that I can call, if so please give me the information.
For Samatha: Do you have some siblings or close friends of the family that could help persuade your mother get an evaluation? Sometimes my mother will take advice and suggestions from her friends, but not her children. We are often in touch with a friend or another relative who can make a well meaning suggestion of health.
Heidi, helping someone from your church can be educating them on the local grants that are available such as the Trident Area on AGing (554-2275) and the Alzheimer’s Association (571-2641). If your friend can qualify for Medicaid or already has it in place, there are Community Long Term Care possibilites for her.
Friendly phone calls and getting others to join you in giving this friend emotional and practical support will do wonders. Meals on Wheels is another option. HOpe this helps. Sheryl
Ada, boy can I relate! When my children were very young, my mom was suffering all the ravages of diabetes including being a double amputee and depression that went along with it. There were Sunday nights when I just wanted to not sleep hoping that Monday could be kept at bay!
Your best bet is to educate yourself on local resources. I can help you with that at Care For Life. Your mom might qualify for several available grants, Medicaid, or she might be a good candidate to go to adult day care near your workplace.
Samantha, what works usually is to have a doctor TELL your mother to do thus and so. Elderly people usually listen to doctors because they have been reared to Believe and Trust everything their doctor tells them.
Also, when dementia is involved, sometimes letting the person think whatever needs to happen is their idea. Educate yourself on your elderly’s illness(-es) and get tips on how to handle difficult parents who are not accepting their circumstances.
How do I know when my parents’ forgetfulness is a red flag for early dementia? It scares me to have to repeat myself so much. I’m in my early 20′s but my parents are in their 60′s. I worry what they will be like in another 10-20 years!
I attended Part 1 of Dementia Dialogues today. My heart aches for families who don’t understand dementia including Alzheimer’s. Education is so key to surviving as an adult child being the main caregiver. What is your story?
I know seeing your loved one disappear before your eyes has to be the hardest thing a child can experience.
I am living with my elderly mom who is 88 and her aging is causing me anxiety, sadness and depression. I feel as though my life is falling apart from all of the stress – should I move out to feel at peace? Who can I talk to? The family doctor is ignoring my mom’s mental issues.
Like most of us, you are in burnout, my dear. You need a good medical checkup and some respite every week at least. Tell your siblings they need to get on board and help you. They can hire someone to help you if they are unwilling to come over and actually do some of the work. Is moving out really an option? If so, what will happen to your mom? Will a sibling step in if they see you are leaving the home? Things to consider. Call a care management agency and get tips from them. I use Care For LIfe.
What about depression in the elderly? Isn’t the suicide rate pretty high among over 80 years old? Can’t depression mimic some of the signs of dementia. Confusion, disorientation, loss of interest in going out, anger issues?
There are specialists for treating the elderly called geriatricians. Be sure to have your aged parent checked out by someone who fully understands the aging body chemistry. There are also Geriatraic Psychiatrists with special skill in diagnosing any kind of mental illness in the aged.
I think we just need to educate adults that help is available and to override any stigma attached to mental illness in people we love.
Our denial is killing us and our loved ones because waiting only makes mental illness worse.
When you are considering a move to assisted living there are several points for families to consider:
•Start the conversation about options for parents’ with them and siblings long before a move is necessitated by medical condition or cognitive impairment. Decide:
•Will parent be able to live on her own with assistance by family or paid caregiver?
•What adaptations are recommended in the parent’s home in order for them to remain there? Or,
•Can the parent live with an adult child? Personalities are huge consideration.
•Is a residential community the best option?
Next,
•Have a family meeting (adult children with or without parents) with a Geriatric Nurse Care Manager to explore the above three options. Work together to create a flexible, written plan for aged parents’ holistic well-being.
•Moving is a stressor on all ages, but even more so for an aged parent who has lived in the same house for decades. Be kind and considerate, but assertive, if needed, to do best thing for parents.
•A deep and very real fear of loss of control of own life is a tremendous obstacle to moving to new environment
The Search begins:
•Tour several facilities, take notes and do comparisons. Try to visualize your parent or yourself in the residence
•Be mindful of proximity to your home or work so that seeing your parent is made easier
• Trust your senses, feelings and your initial reaction to what you see, hear and smell
•Discuss whether your cognitive parent will be placed with persons with dementia. It is best not to comingle the two groups.
•Visit facilities during lunch to see how residents interact with staff and others. Also, is the food fresh and the right temperature?
•Does there seem to be adequate staffing?
•Is the kitchen clean and pantry well-stocked?
•Does the overall atmosphere seem pleasant? Cleanliness is essential!
•Are patients “parked” at nursing stations or in front of televisions with little or no interaction?
•Are pets allowed? Sometimes keeping a pet helps aged person adjust more quickly!
•Do residents appear to be clean, groomed and odor-free?
•Does the staff treat each other with respect?
•Meet the clinical director (not just the marketing person) and ask questions
•Make sure you understand levels of care available and what determines when your parent moves from one level of care to another (and the difference in cost!)
•What occurs in a medical emergency? Will you be the first to be called after 9-1-1?
•Talk to residents. Engage them about the care they receive and the activities they enjoy (or not).
•Ask for references—other families with parents there. They can get permission to give names.
•Ask to take home information on admission criteria and house rules
•Take the time to review materials and ask questions
Use your professional Geriatric Nurse Care Manager’s expertise
•Work with your Geriatric Nurse Care Manager every step of the process for her professional and practical input. She will know available facilities and will help you assess which residential community will best meet your parents’ needs as well as desires for a certain lifestyle as they age.
IT’S MONDAY , THE WEEKEND IS OVER AND I AM BACK TO WORK. BOY WERE THOSE TWO DAYS QUICK. NOW THE NEXT FIVE DAYS WILL CONSIST OF MOM”S MEDS, DR.APPOINTMENTS ALSO MAKING SURE SHE HAS QUALITY MEALS ALL WHILE WORKING FIVE DAYS A WEEK.SINCE I AM THE ONOLY SIBLING LIVING IN TOWN WHAT IS A PERSON TO DO???
I recently heard of an elderly lady whose private caregiver was taking her to the bank and getting checks cashed with the unscrupulous caregiver pocketed. How can I make sure that doesn’t happen to my elderly mother?
It is a great risk to hire caregivers or sitters who are not with an agency who screens their backgrounds, throughly trains them and monitors the care they are giving to vulnerable elderly persons. Care For Life is a geriatric care management company with nursing professionals who assess and monitor each case. The caregivers are trained, bonded and insured to protect the aged person in their care. Call 852-9090 for more info. Gina,
There needs to be a campaign to the legislators in SC to put into place laws that would demand licensure of non-medical homecare agencies by the state. There are far too many vulnerable adults being exploited, abused and neglected by unscrupulous persons going into the homes of the elderly and taking advantage of them.
What do you think of this idea? Dee
My friends mother is 85 years old, she forgets a lot. My friend thinks it is old age, I think it’s the beginning stages of dementia or alzheimers. I saw a program on HBO about alzheimers. The irratic behavior that her mother has sometimes makes me wonder. I asked her to schedule a doctor’s appt., for her mother but she refuses. What would be the next approach I should use, I don’t want her think I want to get in her family’s business, I just care about the family. What do you think I should do?
Is there anyone who can help an elderly person with no family and just a small income? I would like to help this woman from my church, but I don’t have any extra income and she desperately needs help. Are there any agencies that I can call, if so please give me the information.
For Samatha: Do you have some siblings or close friends of the family that could help persuade your mother get an evaluation? Sometimes my mother will take advice and suggestions from her friends, but not her children. We are often in touch with a friend or another relative who can make a well meaning suggestion of health.
Heidi, helping someone from your church can be educating them on the local grants that are available such as the Trident Area on AGing (554-2275) and the Alzheimer’s Association (571-2641). If your friend can qualify for Medicaid or already has it in place, there are Community Long Term Care possibilites for her.
Friendly phone calls and getting others to join you in giving this friend emotional and practical support will do wonders. Meals on Wheels is another option. HOpe this helps. Sheryl
Ada, boy can I relate! When my children were very young, my mom was suffering all the ravages of diabetes including being a double amputee and depression that went along with it. There were Sunday nights when I just wanted to not sleep hoping that Monday could be kept at bay!
Your best bet is to educate yourself on local resources. I can help you with that at Care For Life. Your mom might qualify for several available grants, Medicaid, or she might be a good candidate to go to adult day care near your workplace.
Call me, I’ll try to help. Sheryl
Samantha, what works usually is to have a doctor TELL your mother to do thus and so. Elderly people usually listen to doctors because they have been reared to Believe and Trust everything their doctor tells them.
Also, when dementia is involved, sometimes letting the person think whatever needs to happen is their idea. Educate yourself on your elderly’s illness(-es) and get tips on how to handle difficult parents who are not accepting their circumstances.
Let me know if this helps you! sherylo
How do I know when my parents’ forgetfulness is a red flag for early dementia? It scares me to have to repeat myself so much. I’m in my early 20′s but my parents are in their 60′s. I worry what they will be like in another 10-20 years!
I attended Part 1 of Dementia Dialogues today. My heart aches for families who don’t understand dementia including Alzheimer’s. Education is so key to surviving as an adult child being the main caregiver. What is your story?
I know seeing your loved one disappear before your eyes has to be the hardest thing a child can experience.
I am living with my elderly mom who is 88 and her aging is causing me anxiety, sadness and depression. I feel as though my life is falling apart from all of the stress – should I move out to feel at peace? Who can I talk to? The family doctor is ignoring my mom’s mental issues.
Like most of us, you are in burnout, my dear. You need a good medical checkup and some respite every week at least. Tell your siblings they need to get on board and help you. They can hire someone to help you if they are unwilling to come over and actually do some of the work. Is moving out really an option? If so, what will happen to your mom? Will a sibling step in if they see you are leaving the home? Things to consider. Call a care management agency and get tips from them. I use Care For LIfe.
What about depression in the elderly? Isn’t the suicide rate pretty high among over 80 years old? Can’t depression mimic some of the signs of dementia. Confusion, disorientation, loss of interest in going out, anger issues?
There are specialists for treating the elderly called geriatricians. Be sure to have your aged parent checked out by someone who fully understands the aging body chemistry. There are also Geriatraic Psychiatrists with special skill in diagnosing any kind of mental illness in the aged.
I think we just need to educate adults that help is available and to override any stigma attached to mental illness in people we love.
Our denial is killing us and our loved ones because waiting only makes mental illness worse.
When you are considering a move to assisted living there are several points for families to consider:
•Start the conversation about options for parents’ with them and siblings long before a move is necessitated by medical condition or cognitive impairment. Decide:
•Will parent be able to live on her own with assistance by family or paid caregiver?
•What adaptations are recommended in the parent’s home in order for them to remain there? Or,
•Can the parent live with an adult child? Personalities are huge consideration.
•Is a residential community the best option?
Next,
•Have a family meeting (adult children with or without parents) with a Geriatric Nurse Care Manager to explore the above three options. Work together to create a flexible, written plan for aged parents’ holistic well-being.
•Moving is a stressor on all ages, but even more so for an aged parent who has lived in the same house for decades. Be kind and considerate, but assertive, if needed, to do best thing for parents.
•A deep and very real fear of loss of control of own life is a tremendous obstacle to moving to new environment
The Search begins:
•Tour several facilities, take notes and do comparisons. Try to visualize your parent or yourself in the residence
•Be mindful of proximity to your home or work so that seeing your parent is made easier
• Trust your senses, feelings and your initial reaction to what you see, hear and smell
•Discuss whether your cognitive parent will be placed with persons with dementia. It is best not to comingle the two groups.
•Visit facilities during lunch to see how residents interact with staff and others. Also, is the food fresh and the right temperature?
•Does there seem to be adequate staffing?
•Is the kitchen clean and pantry well-stocked?
•Does the overall atmosphere seem pleasant? Cleanliness is essential!
•Are patients “parked” at nursing stations or in front of televisions with little or no interaction?
•Are pets allowed? Sometimes keeping a pet helps aged person adjust more quickly!
•Do residents appear to be clean, groomed and odor-free?
•Does the staff treat each other with respect?
•Meet the clinical director (not just the marketing person) and ask questions
•Make sure you understand levels of care available and what determines when your parent moves from one level of care to another (and the difference in cost!)
•What occurs in a medical emergency? Will you be the first to be called after 9-1-1?
•Talk to residents. Engage them about the care they receive and the activities they enjoy (or not).
•Ask for references—other families with parents there. They can get permission to give names.
•Ask to take home information on admission criteria and house rules
•Take the time to review materials and ask questions
Use your professional Geriatric Nurse Care Manager’s expertise
•Work with your Geriatric Nurse Care Manager every step of the process for her professional and practical input. She will know available facilities and will help you assess which residential community will best meet your parents’ needs as well as desires for a certain lifestyle as they age.