Comments on: Home Care Assistance is making news in senior care

By: Sheryl

Sheryl — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 17:03:37 +0000

When you are considering a move to assisted living there are several points for families to consider:
•Start the conversation about options for parents’ with them and siblings long before a move is necessitated by medical condition or cognitive impairment. Decide:
•Will parent be able to live on her own with assistance by family or paid caregiver?
•What adaptations are recommended in the parent’s home in order for them to remain there? Or,
•Can the parent live with an adult child? Personalities are huge consideration.
•Is a residential community the best option?
Next,
•Have a family meeting (adult children with or without parents) with a Geriatric Nurse Care Manager to explore the above three options. Work together to create a flexible, written plan for aged parents’ holistic well-being.
•Moving is a stressor on all ages, but even more so for an aged parent who has lived in the same house for decades. Be kind and considerate, but assertive, if needed, to do best thing for parents.
•A deep and very real fear of loss of control of own life is a tremendous obstacle to moving to new environment
The Search begins:
•Tour several facilities, take notes and do comparisons. Try to visualize your parent or yourself in the residence
•Be mindful of proximity to your home or work so that seeing your parent is made easier
• Trust your senses, feelings and your initial reaction to what you see, hear and smell
•Discuss whether your cognitive parent will be placed with persons with dementia. It is best not to comingle the two groups.
•Visit facilities during lunch to see how residents interact with staff and others. Also, is the food fresh and the right temperature?
•Does there seem to be adequate staffing?
•Is the kitchen clean and pantry well-stocked?
•Does the overall atmosphere seem pleasant? Cleanliness is essential!
•Are patients “parked” at nursing stations or in front of televisions with little or no interaction?
•Are pets allowed? Sometimes keeping a pet helps aged person adjust more quickly!
•Do residents appear to be clean, groomed and odor-free?
•Does the staff treat each other with respect?
•Meet the clinical director (not just the marketing person) and ask questions
•Make sure you understand levels of care available and what determines when your parent moves from one level of care to another (and the difference in cost!)
•What occurs in a medical emergency? Will you be the first to be called after 9-1-1?
•Talk to residents. Engage them about the care they receive and the activities they enjoy (or not).
•Ask for references—other families with parents there. They can get permission to give names.
•Ask to take home information on admission criteria and house rules
•Take the time to review materials and ask questions
Use your professional Geriatric Nurse Care Manager’s expertise
•Work with your Geriatric Nurse Care Manager every step of the process for her professional and practical input. She will know available facilities and will help you assess which residential community will best meet your parents’ needs as well as desires for a certain lifestyle as they age.

By: Willis

Willis — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:14:38 +0000

There are specialists for treating the elderly called geriatricians. Be sure to have your aged parent checked out by someone who fully understands the aging body chemistry. There are also Geriatraic Psychiatrists with special skill in diagnosing any kind of mental illness in the aged.
I think we just need to educate adults that help is available and to override any stigma attached to mental illness in people we love.
Our denial is killing us and our loved ones because waiting only makes mental illness worse.

By: Willis

Willis — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:11:31 +0000

What about depression in the elderly? Isn’t the suicide rate pretty high among over 80 years old? Can’t depression mimic some of the signs of dementia. Confusion, disorientation, loss of interest in going out, anger issues?

By: Roxanne

Roxanne — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:59:14 +0000

Like most of us, you are in burnout, my dear. You need a good medical checkup and some respite every week at least. Tell your siblings they need to get on board and help you. They can hire someone to help you if they are unwilling to come over and actually do some of the work. Is moving out really an option? If so, what will happen to your mom? Will a sibling step in if they see you are leaving the home? Things to consider. Call a care management agency and get tips from them. I use Care For LIfe.

By: Willis

Willis — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:57:10 +0000

I am living with my elderly mom who is 88 and her aging is causing me anxiety, sadness and depression. I feel as though my life is falling apart from all of the stress – should I move out to feel at peace? Who can I talk to? The family doctor is ignoring my mom’s mental issues.

By: Sheryl

Sheryl — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 21:36:32 +0000

I attended Part 1 of Dementia Dialogues today. My heart aches for families who don’t understand dementia including Alzheimer’s. Education is so key to surviving as an adult child being the main caregiver. What is your story?
I know seeing your loved one disappear before your eyes has to be the hardest thing a child can experience.

By: Caroline

Caroline — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:04:03 +0000

How do I know when my parents’ forgetfulness is a red flag for early dementia? It scares me to have to repeat myself so much. I’m in my early 20′s but my parents are in their 60′s. I worry what they will be like in another 10-20 years!

By: Sheryl

Sheryl — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:01:59 +0000

Samantha, what works usually is to have a doctor TELL your mother to do thus and so. Elderly people usually listen to doctors because they have been reared to Believe and Trust everything their doctor tells them.

Also, when dementia is involved, sometimes letting the person think whatever needs to happen is their idea. Educate yourself on your elderly’s illness(-es) and get tips on how to handle difficult parents who are not accepting their circumstances.

Let me know if this helps you! sherylo

By: Sheryl

Sheryl — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:58:04 +0000

Ada, boy can I relate! When my children were very young, my mom was suffering all the ravages of diabetes including being a double amputee and depression that went along with it. There were Sunday nights when I just wanted to not sleep hoping that Monday could be kept at bay!
Your best bet is to educate yourself on local resources. I can help you with that at Care For Life. Your mom might qualify for several available grants, Medicaid, or she might be a good candidate to go to adult day care near your workplace.

Call me, I’ll try to help. Sheryl

By: Sheryl

Sheryl — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:50:43 +0000

Heidi, helping someone from your church can be educating them on the local grants that are available such as the Trident Area on AGing (554-2275) and the Alzheimer’s Association (571-2641). If your friend can qualify for Medicaid or already has it in place, there are Community Long Term Care possibilites for her.
Friendly phone calls and getting others to join you in giving this friend emotional and practical support will do wonders. Meals on Wheels is another option. HOpe this helps. Sheryl